A Few Valuable Lessons Learned in Dublin.....

While eating a cold irish "chicken fajita" in St. Stephens Green this afternoon, I was inspired to pass along a few cold hard lessons I've learned in the first 3 weeks of my trip:
#1. Though the bottle says "diet coke" on it...it is not in fact the "diet coke" we all know and love, well at least i love, It is certainly lacking that special crispness, and contains for some odd reason vegetable extracts....those things definitly do not belong in my beloved nutrisweet filled beverage.
#2. While reading, it is good to keep in mind that there is no such thing as a z here...well maybe there is but i have yet to come across a word containing the last letter of the alphabet...forget about organized, or minimize...o no...now its organised and minimise. This brings about an interesting question, whose answer is still alluding me: Zebra or Sebra? O and practice...its definitly spelled practise. Center, just reverse some things Centre...Program...just add a few more letters...programme...drag it out abit. No such thing is "th" either...thanks is now tanks, that is tat...in both spelling and speech. I believe u get the picture now...
#3. Vanish is not the same thing as Shout. IT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER: do NOT touch vanish...i can tell u from personal experience it is not pleasant. It is not correct to rub the stain remover into the stain here, just let it set otherwise u will end up with hands with white speckles all over them that burn like hell. And it is also valuable to know that vanish is not supposed to dry on your clothes...get that shit in the washer before 10 minute is up. Just once more for clarification: VANISH DOES NOT EQUAL SHOUT!!!!
#4. Hi Ya, tanks a million....any irish slang in general only sounds cool when Americans say it to other Americans...Do not attempt to pull it off to Irish coworkers....just sounds stupid.

Must get down to the business of writing a programme about sibling rivalry now...
I hope lessons can be learned from my foolish behaviours.... PEACE